Step Off, Orwell: Snooki Gets Published
April 23rd 2011 07:48
This is older news, but I had to cover it. There's just too much here that can't go unsaid.
If you didn't know Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is a star on the reality series "Jersey Shore". She's astounded thousands not only with the eloquent dialogue between her and her fellow cast members ("Angelina farted and it's coming in my mouth and nose!"), her extensive vocabulary ("It's just a big ball of fuckness. That's a new word: fuckness."), and her riveting opinions about the world around her ("I don't go tanning tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us, like McCain would never have put a 10% tax on tanning...because he is pale and would probably wanna be tanned."). So it's hard to imagine any novel produced from such a mind could possibly be anything but extraordinary.
I haven't had the pleasure of reading the book, but I've dug around for a few excerpts purely out of curiosity. She's like an orange, fluffy green slipper wearing train wreck; you can't not look.
Here's a taste:
"Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky."
"Yum, Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla."
"I wonder if my food baby is a boy or girl."
Pure poetry, am I right?
Now, I know I shouldn't be expecting any great works of literature, and I came into things with an open mind. I will commend her for writing. I will wince at the slew of grammatical errors and lack of any sense of basic writing mechanics, but over all, I don't have much to say.
"I use to be Harvard inglish profeser. I reed this bok and now forgot how spel and use inglish.
Plot was nyce, had good story and hot chicks."
There you go.
[Amazon]A Shore Thing
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