Humanity Never Ceases to Amaze Me; 'Innovative' Crime Sprees
May 5th 2010 12:35
In a failed attempt at a clever disguise, James Coldwell entered a bank one lovely Saturday morning dressed as a tree. Clad in branches taped to his head and torso, he demanded money from the teller, unarmed. And he succeeded. Temporarily.
What he neglected to consider was the fact that his
The police Sergeant on the case stated, "He really went out on a limb."
Ha. You see what he did there? Oh, you're so clever, officer.
I'd love to think that this is an isolated incident, but unfortunately, innovative crime sprees are the newest trend. We have the permanent marker bandits, who took a sharpie to their faces, the Duct Tape guy, who wrapped his head in duct tape, and this bright fellow:
One of the few to actually succeed in not getting caught is a man who robbed a shop with just a knife, and a roll of toilet paper. Sounds like McGyver shit to me. He wrapped the toilet paper around his head, demanded money, and took off. Police have yet to identify the man, and their only lead is the trail of toilet paper found leading away from the store where the man took off on foot.
So now you know, ski masks are not only sooo not cool in the world of crime, but they are completely unnecessary. Stop at Walmart on the way, pick up a toilet paper for a buck, and WAH-LA! You're set to go. Happy looting.
I'd be sad about what this world is coming to if it wasn't so hilarious to watch.
[Metro]Cops twig after criminal tree leaves bank branch stumped
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