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Media Blotch - May 2010

UK, This is Weird Even for You; Human Bed Warmers

May 14th 2010 13:05


UK Holiday Inns are now planning to employ "human bed warmers", and will begin offering free five minute bed warming services to their guests. Essentially, someone will be paid to lie in your bed for about five minutes so you can hop in to some toasty sheets.

A Holiday Inn spokeswoman says it's "like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed." I disagree. I'm pretty sure it's exactly like sharing your bed with a stranger for five minutes, and not just any stranger; a stranger in a onesie. the only way you could make this more awkward is if the hotel employee coming to satisfy your bed warming needs just had a burrito for dinner. Nobody wants your free dutch ovens Holiday Inn.


[Fox] Holiday Inn offers human bed warming service
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You Won't Look Cool Watching Disney in 3D; New Designer 3D Glasses

May 13th 2010 13:23


If you've ever felt like a dolt wearing those silly red and blue plastic glasses, you're in luck. Designers such as Gucci, Look3D, Ray Ban, and others have begun working on stylish new 3D glasses


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Kind of Makes Me Never Want to Date Again; Crabs for Sale

May 13th 2010 12:58


In what has to be the most disgusting entrepreneurial crusade I've ever heard of, CrabRevenge.com sells, well, crabs. Not the cute little 'I Pinch' type of crabs from the Toyota commercials either (that crab cracks me up). The nasty itchy ones


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Oy Vey!; Woman Claims 3D Porn Got Her Pregnant

May 12th 2010 12:17


Technology is capable of some amazing things. All of our gadgets make it possible to learn and do just about anything without even leaving the house, and, according to this woman, you don't even need a man to get you pregnant. Just throw on a 3D porn, grab your glasses, and get ready for babies


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Chimp Mauls Woman

May 10th 2010 15:13


This is older news, but I was asked to post it because apparently some people live under a rock (I mock you because I love you. ACCEPT ME AS I AM


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You Are Definitely Going to Hell; Woman Hits Lord Jesus Christ with Vehicle

May 10th 2010 14:50


20 year old Brittany Cantarella has ensured herself a ticket to hell by striking a man on crossing the street at a crosswalk with her vehicle. The individual suffered minor injuries to his face, but it doesn't matter. She's still screwed. Why? Because police at the scene found that the man's I.D. distinguished him as Lord Jesus Christ


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Teacher Sues Child for Terrifying Bunny Drawing

May 10th 2010 14:35


Hopefully, you didn't pee your pants when you opened this post, because those bunny drawings are pretty friggin horrifying. At least they are for a teacher in Germany, who is now suing one of her students for drawing a bunny in class. She claims the child did so knowing that it would terrify her


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We'll Get That Damn Easter Bunny This Time!

May 6th 2010 17:26


Apparently not everyone is a fan of the easter bunny. What makes this even more hilarious and sad at the same time is that this is a real headline. And yes, it means exactly what it says.
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I Hope You Learned Your Lesson, Apple: iPad with Wi-Fi 3G Sales Disappointing

May 5th 2010 15:23


As most of you have probably guessed from my multiple Apple related posts, I am an Apple user. This site is brought to you courtesy of a beautiful MacBook Pro. I am a PC hater, and I do not care how much gaming I am missing out on because of it. However, I am very disappointed with the iPad, and despite Steve Jobs' use of the word 'revolutionary' every other word when he raves about it, I think it's a waste of time and space


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One More Reason You Shouldn't Mess with the Handicapped: Woman with No Arms Tests for Blackbelt

May 5th 2010 12:51


Sheila Radzeiwicz has no arms or kneecaps, but she could still kick my ass. This is in part because I am a huge pansy that often receives a butt kicking from a three year old, and in part because Sheila is one bad ass chick


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Humanity Never Ceases to Amaze Me; 'Innovative' Crime Sprees

May 5th 2010 12:35


In a failed attempt at a clever disguise, James Coldwell entered a bank one lovely Saturday morning dressed as a tree. Clad in branches taped to his head and torso, he demanded money from the teller, unarmed. And he succeeded. Temporarily


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How Romantic; Man Proposes As Michael J. Fox

May 4th 2010 17:24


In what I'll call a creative (because the thesaurus won't give me a better word for 'pretty friggin weird') proposal, Corey Goldfeder rented a theater and hired an entire audience for a special remake of Back to the Future. In his new and improved pretty friggin weird (screw you, thesaurus) rendition, he replaced Michael J. Fox's face with his own, and carried out a conversation with the other characters about whether or not he should propose


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Hey, Arguing Makes a Person Hungry; Woman Bites Man's Ear After Being Called Fat

May 4th 2010 16:10


This has to be one of the worst cases of retaliation I've ever heard of. 24 year old Anna Godfrey was called fat at a party by an unwanted guest, and, in an attempt to set things straight (and prove the wrong person right), she bit off a sizable chunk of his ear


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Their Kids Better Watch Out: Couple Splits House In Half

May 4th 2010 13:05


A couple in Cambodia decided to stick it to the man and bypass the whole divorce process by cutting their house in half. Their apparent motivation was to avoid the costly and long process. Though advised against it by officials, the couple split the house, moving one half to another location


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The Military Isn't For Sissies!: Afghan Troops Remake Gaga Video

May 4th 2010 12:46


Now, for some reason I thought the military was for kicking ass and taking names, but apparently, there's always time to dance. Especially to Lady Gaga. I'm a little concerned about how other countries are going to perceive this, uh, for lack of a better word, flamboyance, but what the hell do I know? I am but a lowly writer, and these guys obviously know what they're doing (but not on the dance floor


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That'd Be One Unpleasant Honeymoon; Man Marries Cat

May 4th 2010 05:15


Uwe Mitzscherlich is a cat lover. No, really. He loves his cat so much, that upon hearing from the veterinarian that she was dying, he married her. Well, unofficially. Since marrying an animal is illegal in Germany, 39 year old Mitzsherlich paid an actress to officiate the ceremony


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For the Love of God, Where Will It End?: Twilight Engagement Ring

May 3rd 2010 13:20


In the new trailer for Eclipse, the third installment of the Twilight series, Bella's engagement ring from Edward was finally revealed. It has also become considerably easier to spot Twi-hards with an unhealthy obsession, as Infinite Jewelry Co. has teamed up with Stephanie Meyers to create a replica of Bella's ring. There are three versions at $35, $479, and the "genuine" ring for $1979


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Microsoft's Newest Gadget: Skinput

May 3rd 2010 12:30


Chris Harris of Microsoft Research is one innovative dude. He's created a working prototype that projects a keyboard, dial pad, and interactive screen similar to that of a smart phone onto a hand or arm. In the video above you can see him working his prototype which he has dubbed Skinput


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To Each His Own: INSA Dung Shoes

May 3rd 2010 01:19


London based designer INSA created these lovely (and by lovely, I mean disgusting) shoes that are made with elephant dung. Yes, actual dung. INSA apparently created the shoes in response to Chris Ofili's elephant dung painting titled Virgin Mary


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Facebook is Full of Fail

May 1st 2010 07:28


Since we're on the topic of grandmas, here's a little gem I found while pretending homework does not exist. What's more important, college or shit that cracks me up? Stop looking at me like that, Mom


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Granny, Did You Forget Your Pills?: Grandma in Love with Her Grandson

May 1st 2010 07:06


Here is yet another story that has left me speechless and disturbed. 72 year old Pearl Carter is in love with her 26 year old grandson. Not just in love with him, but having a child with him via surrogate mother. Her grandson says, "We get laughed at and bullied when we go out and kiss in public, but we don't care." How sweet horribly unsettling


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May 2010
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