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On Behalf of Britney's Australian Fans

December 24th 2009 07:24
A Response To Cruel Local Press

Britney may be human, but onstage she is immortal. She is a charismatic, raunchy-beyond-belief performer who delights girls and boys, young and old with one flip of her blonde mane.


Britney Spears Circus Tour Australia



To fans, their tickets are worth every dollar just to know she’s in the same building. A Britney concert is no place for reviewers and it’s no place for non-believers. It’s a near-religious experience for people who, like myself, have watched her in the media, held their breath when she fell from grace and have been willing her to make a comeback ever since. It’s as much about paying homage to a pop music icon as anything else.

Hundreds of thousands of Britney supporters turn out to Britney concerts, buy astronomically priced t-shirts emblazoned with various lyrics and count the metres between their seat and the stage. They scarcely breathe between songs, waiting to see which glitzy number is coming up next. On the platform at the train station, anyone wearing sparkles is making their way to the Britster. They catch each other’s eye, knowing they’re about to make the pilgrimage to the Acer Arena where their idol is probably, at the time, putting ear muffs on her kids. We can only imagine what she does to prepare, but we know it aint voice exercises.


Brit’s bad press in Australia for lip-synching – something she has always done – misses the point of her visit. Britney sang ‘Everytime’, the melancholic ballad she wrote herself and it sounded beautiful. But only because she was perched on a glistening umbrella suspended in the air. For all her other songs, it was her dancing and the awesomely sordid Circus vibe that made the performance. The tickets read “The Circus, Starring Britney Spears”. And that’s exactly what they delivered. There were contortionists, gymnasts, a midget, a very bouncy amputee, martial arts dancers, clowns and fire.

The fact that she’s not actually singing is totally irrelevant to the spectacle of the show. Think of what she would sound like if she did try to sing and dance like the devilishly cute thing she is – it would be breathy, stilted, exhausted. To say that other artists sing live and dance is beside the point – Britney Spears is unique and as far as her die-hard fans are concerned, she can do whatever she pleases.


Britney Spears Circus Tour Australia



Britney’s concert is for her many, many fans. It’s their opinion we should judge the success of this show upon, and the ceaseless, hysterical screaming and cheering in the crowds is the truest gauge of her impact. With optical illusions, edgy video interludes, stunning costumes and infinite sass, the makers of Britney’s show are masters of suspense. The dancers were ridiculously good-looking and choreography astounding. The show was every bit as entertaining as any Britney fan could really hope.


The thing is, Britney’s not America’s sweetheart anymore. She’s a self-possessed, cheeky woman who has come to mean a lot to her followers.

Her personal crises last year troubled a lot of fans, and it’s been a joy to have Brits down under, if only to parade around her toned abs and bronzed skin, which we have always equated with her happiness.

SHE'S STRONGER THAN YESTERDAY - AND WE'RE LOVIN IT.
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Media Blotch features a string of hopefully witty, sometimes perceptive, often ridiculous posts about idiocy, corruption, suspicion, scandal, confusion, sexy paradigms and pop culture observations.

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Master Magee

February 20th 2009 03:07

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[Film Review]
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Demand a Dance-Off Between JT and Rain

February 9th 2009 05:17
Despite his pelvic-thrusting, peroxide curly, Britney-snuggling ways, Justin Timberlake has long been the King of Pop. He ascended to the throne post-NSync, with sweet sweet dancing skills. He was the only man-boy on the scene to tap into the teen heart-throb market and still pull girls like Cameron Diaz and Jessica Biel. Since Backstreet Boys, Westlife and Human Nature have faded into irrelevance JT has stormed through with contagious beats, helped of course by his black-man connections to increase his rap-time credibility.


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You may remember Kim Jong-Il from such satirical cartoons as 'Team America' and such news coverage as 'Nuclear Fears in North Korea'. He is the leader of somewhat ironically named Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK) and he has just announced his successor.

Kim Jong-Il has dismissed his eldest son as heir, presumably because he once tried to enter te country with a fake passport. Apparently Jong-Il thinks his Sushi-Chef second son is not masculine or aggressive enough. So the great honour and burden of North Korean leadership will be bestowed upon Kim Jong-Il's third son, Kim Jong-Un


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I think it only fair that we all agree upon a new term for 'Pirate'.
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Remember Maddie McCann? The angelic toddler who diappeared without trace in Portugal while her parents were dining nearby?

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